Monday, 11 February 2013

The Church

So, this happened.

It also got me thinking about how much of an impact the Catholic Church still has on the world even when we in the West are in increasingly secular societies. I mean the story is covering half of the BBCs news page and a quick browse around the web shows similar coverage on every major news outlet along with alot of chatter on most social media sites.

Even Gaming, a thoroughly modern medium and one that normally goes out of its way to not offend anyone (well, normally) by even mentioning religion, probably owes more then you'd think to the Holy See.

Pope-Kart Racing never caught on though...Source

See, while the modern church is more famous for scandals then it is trendsetting, the Church itself has been around for nearly 2000 years. That's plenty of time to spawn some pretty ass kicking tropes, especially for an organization that's not been historically shy to throw its weight around.

To illustrate my point I'll need you to think of any religion that featured prominently in a game, particularly fantasy games but not necessarily . Do any or all of the following points apply:

  • Fanatical, heavily armed adherents
  • A singular, clearly defined 'Evil' enemy
  • Tendency towards brawny guys in full suits of armour
  • A promise of salvation/paradise for falling in action
Congratulations, you've just conjured up the Church Militant and its many subtle variations. This is almost always the way that in-game Religions are built. Sometimes because it's a useful Quest-giving tool, sometimes in response to the unimagineable evil present in the world and sometimes as the villain. Whatever the reason for their appearance, they all can trace back to a singular parent in the Orders Militant of the post-Crusades Catholic Church.

Hell, The Agency from the Hitman series is literally just this; a group within the Catholic Church acting as violent assasins...kung-fu nuns sold seperately.



The only obvious exception to this trend is in Dead Space. There the Church of Unitology is a less-then-subtle take down of Scientology. In fairness, I think most people can get on board with that.

Now all that remains is to ask: With the Pope leaving does this mean Agent 47 can gain the seat of St. Peter?

Until next time, Let us say Skål! and drink together...

Friday, 8 February 2013

Thursday, 7 February 2013

Xbox 720 Rumours

Well, if the Daily Mail reports it...it must be true!

Seriously though, rumours have been going nuts for the last few weeks about the new Xbox (probably 720 but possibly 'Kryptos') and how it will run. There's a pretty comprehensive breakdown over at GamesRadar, but for those of you who want it right now here we go:

  • Unsuprisingly, it's going to be stupidly powerful. The term 'Teraflop' is one that sounds like the arousal caused by MMO and chainmail bikini purveyor Tera online but actually means a ridiculous amount of processing power.
  • Depending on who you believe it will either be £300 odd pounds or £100 but act as a cable/satellite set-top box. GamesRadar quotes Comcast but as Sky already have a distribution app for customers on Xbox I could see a similar deal coming forward on this side of the pond. Good way to tie up entire households leisure time in one source.
  • Supposedly it's going to require an 'always on' internet connection. A lot of people are up in arms about this but realistically I think this is how games are going. We've seen it more and more on the PC and PS3 and eventually the Xbox would follow up.
  • Of more concern is reports (like the Daily Mail story above) that the 720 (I refuse to call it Kryptos) will require games to come with 'activation codes' that stop disc-swapping and second hand sales. Now we've all heard how the second hand market is under attack by the Games Industry, eager to get some of the money back from retailers, but this would be the first real step on consoles.

    It could also tragically backfire, if this turns out to be true not only have Microsoft abandoned one of the fundamental strengths of console gaming but they leave themselves open to Sony, prepping their own PS4, to either abandon DRM or simply come up with something a bit easier and a significant chunk of sales might swing their way.
That's the main points for now, apologies for the text heavy post, flu continues to assail me!

Until next time friends, let us say Skål! and drink together

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Ugh...

Seasonal flu caught up with me in a bad way...so uhh...did you guys know some Danes built a longship and sailed it across the North Sea to Dublin?

Well, they totally did!


Until next time friends, Let us say Skal! and drink together

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Vikings hit the History Channel

I stayed up to watch the Superbowl, because I love American Football (it requires more commitment in the UK, by the time the Ravens won it was 4am) sadly I missed out on this superbowl ad until the morning.

The History Channel, apparently remembering a time when they were about historical figures and events instead of people with ridiculous professions have launched their first scripted series.

Awesomely, it focuses on the Vikings.






It's not 100% clear from the trailer what the storyline will be in the series but given the constant references to 'Going West' it almost seems they're doing some version of Erik the Reds life, or possibly his son Leifs (discovered Greenland and America, respectively).

That being said, while Erik was certainly an Icelandic Outlaw and something of a rough and tumble man generally he doesn't fit the cry of 'This Man has no respect for our Traditions!' because he was actually the quintessential Viking. Pagan to a fault, a man who fought at the slightest insult and who was a master sailor. It was the rapidly Christianizing Iceland that had moved on without him.

A quick trip to IMDb and it seems the story will focus on Ragnar Lothbrok who, while a hell of a Viking in his own right, is hardly the first man to think of raiding West. In fact, as Ragnar was largely active during the mid to late 800s, he was active at the peak of Viking raiding. The first raids, meanwhile, were back in 793 when a group of Norwegian Vikings sacked the monastery on Lindisfarne (modern evidence suggests that Scandanavian traders and sailors were active on the British Isles even before this date).

Now, aside from those historical quibbles the tone and brief glimpses of action seem spot-on for the Viking world and I for one will be looking forward to this most eagerly.



Monday, 4 February 2013

3 Things better then a JJ Abrams Star Wars



With the news that JJ Abrams, fresh from the second film in his Star Trek reboot, will be directing at least one of Disneys new Star Warsfilms the internet went a little bit nutty.

 Lens Flare!

I’m more or less on the fence with this one, leaning towards worried. I didn’t mind the first Star Trek reboot but then again I wasn’t a massive trekkie previously (watched a bit of TNG and DS9, shockingly I like Klingons the best). Star Wars, on the other hand, is my childhood. I spent years watching the original trilogy over and over on VHS and when my wife bought the cinema releases on DVD I made a noise similar to a six year old girl.

I was Sports Pub-HappySource


Now, it goes without saying (because this is the internet) that I hated the prequel trilogy. The plotholes, annoying side characters and complete destruction of Darth Vader as any kind of threatening character (I should be the most powerful Jedi! Wah. Wah. Wah.) made me angry to the point of frothing, trolling rage. Add that to the fact that Mr. Abrams track record isn’t excactly flawless (Lost) and you’ll see why it’s been occupying my thoughts a lot lately.

So, to get this stuff out of my head I decided to come up with three things that could have been better than a JJ Abrams Star Wars. If I’m already let down by these not happening it will cushion the blow if his effort does fall short.

So without further ado, here’s the list of things we’re missing out on.

Josh Whedon making a smuggler movie

Han Solo is the coolest thing in Star Wars, there is no arguing against this. He’s a slick smuggler who shoots first (screw you Lucas) and asks questions later.  He’s also got a fair few similarities to another slick Sci-Fi smuggler you may remember.

In the future, everything is pistolsSource

Now imagine if Joss Whedon was given free rein to explore the world Han operated in; the torrid deals and underworld trades of SWs famous smugglers. Think about it, not only is the formula there for a stealth return to Fireflys ship, crew and job formula but it would be a brilliant way to introduce large swathes of the universe in only a single movie as the ship and crew have to travel between worlds to do their jobs.

Genndy Tartakovsky making a feature-length Cartoon

If I say Star Wars cartoon to you, most people will think of the godawful 3d animated effort from a couple of years back. Yet before the blue Twi-lek with ‘attitude’ and a boxy Hayden Christensen there was the superb Clone Wars shorts by Samurai Jack creator Genndy Tartakovsky…



Amazing right? Now picture that, except feature length and with a higher budget.

I don’t think I need to say any more.

Let Michael Bay make a Michael Bay movie

Michael Bay gets a lot of stick on the net, mostly because of his less-then-faithful Transformers adaptations…

Oh yeah, this was a good ideaSource

But what people often forget when bad mouthing the racist robots and Meagan Fox is that Michael Bay knows how to make things blow up, and blow up BIG.



One of the problems with the Prequels was that they couldn’t decide if they were silly action movies or serious drama. If Disney decided to abandon all pretence and just make a big, loud movie then Michael Bay is probably the man to do it. After all, Bad Boys and Bad Boys 2 are among my favourite films of all time. 

Now picture that boat-trailer chase scene...but in Space!


Until next time friends, let us say Skål! and drink together.
 



Thursday, 31 January 2013

Big Damn Heroes



Have you ever found it odd how different Game genres approach their ‘Heroes Journey?

Well no, probably not, as you are all happy, well-adjusted people but this is the kind of stuff I think about when my brain grows tired of attempting to be a productive member of society (also, Vikings).

Seriously though, while ostensibly each describing a fairly simple character arc, usually along the lines of ‘bad guys do bad thing, you have to stop them, you stop them, much success’, they tend to approach it in vastly different and usually pretty weird ways. Not only that, but sometimes they seem to draw characters from entirely the wrong era.

Let’s take two of the most straightforward examples and I’ll try and show you what I mean. The two I’m going to use are the random soldiers of FPS’ and the random peasants of Western RPGs. I’m using these because; well a little bit because these are the games I play most, but also because they’re the games with the most character-focussed view. Compare the solo heroes in most of these games to the Omniscient Gods of RTS’ and the spiky haired, mal-nourished teenagers of JRPGs and you’ll see what I mean.

Eat a Damn Cheeseburger!Source

Let’s start with a brief rundown of how the two characters normally play out.


Your standard FPS, whether Sci-Fi or Modern, begins with you and usually a squad being deployed or already present in some hot-spot or warzone. As things escalate around you and people shout whatever random Caucasian or semi-ethnic name you’ve been given (Johnson! Ramirez!!) it will eventually become apparent that you are the only competent member of that particular military/space marine corps and the next 8 hours are spent rushing headlong into a wave of bullets and enemies.

Meanwhile in a normal Western RPG (except Elder Scrolls Games where you are always some kind of criminal, I assume because Bethesda are ‘down with the streets’) you are generally a plucky and not unduly downtrodden peasant living in a facsimile of Arthurian Britain. When your surprisingly pleasant country is invaded by todays flavour of ork and all the professional knights and soldiers are routed it’s up to you to start gathering allies, combine powerful characters and forces and save the day!

Also, sometimes you’re Link.

If anyone says 'Hey, Listen!' I'll knife youSource

Now let’s think about that for a moment. Apart from the accumulated works of Mr Stallone, Willis and Schwarzenegger the one-man army doesn’t really have a place in the modern world.  There’s a reason an entire SEAL team took down Osama Bin Laden and not just one dude with the mystic power to open doors.  You know where we do find a culture that holds the greatest warrior of a group up to do the heroic works?

If you guessed Vikings then you’re wrong…

WHAAAATTT!!!??Source
 Nah I’m just messing with you, the Vikings loved that stuff. 

 It’s just that they were a continuation of a tradition that was on going for thousands of years. Amongst the Celts, Germanic Tribes and eventually the Vikings there was a warrior elite of fighting men around important Lords and Kings. These men could come from anywhere, even other tribes if they were particularly skilled, but once ensconced as a Hearth-Troop (Saxon:Huscarl) they formed a cultural elite.

It was from these men that heroes like Beowulf emerged, the best fighters of an elite unit tackling the most difficult foes to achieve their goals…

Sound familiar?

And lo, he did strike upon them as a Troll unto noobsSource

Now, if we look at the RPG storyline I sketched above we can see some definitely modern trends in it. In fact a lone man, or small group, building alliances and leading a grass-roots swell against some outside ‘evil’ force should sound very familiar indeed.

It’s called Guerilla Warfare and it’s how every modern war is being fought.

If you don’t think this is a fair comparison to make, well then let me point out that leading a regime change is literally the entire plot of Dragon Age:Origins , it’s also a sizable questline in Skyrim and once again the entire plot of Dungeon Siege 3 (admittedly there you used to be the faction in charge so it’s more of a reverse-coup).

When you look at it that way, it starts to look like Modern-Warfare is the barbarian to the developed martial prowess of our old-timey RPGs.

So…I guess this means Link is a member of Al-Qaeda?

Until next time friends, let us say Skål! and drink together.