Monday, 4 February 2013

3 Things better then a JJ Abrams Star Wars

With the news that JJ Abrams, fresh from the second film in his Star Trek reboot, will be directing at least one of Disneys new Star Warsfilms the internet went a little bit nutty.

 Lens Flare!

I’m more or less on the fence with this one, leaning towards worried. I didn’t mind the first Star Trek reboot but then again I wasn’t a massive trekkie previously (watched a bit of TNG and DS9, shockingly I like Klingons the best). Star Wars, on the other hand, is my childhood. I spent years watching the original trilogy over and over on VHS and when my wife bought the cinema releases on DVD I made a noise similar to a six year old girl.

I was Sports Pub-HappySource

Now, it goes without saying (because this is the internet) that I hated the prequel trilogy. The plotholes, annoying side characters and complete destruction of Darth Vader as any kind of threatening character (I should be the most powerful Jedi! Wah. Wah. Wah.) made me angry to the point of frothing, trolling rage. Add that to the fact that Mr. Abrams track record isn’t excactly flawless (Lost) and you’ll see why it’s been occupying my thoughts a lot lately.

So, to get this stuff out of my head I decided to come up with three things that could have been better than a JJ Abrams Star Wars. If I’m already let down by these not happening it will cushion the blow if his effort does fall short.

So without further ado, here’s the list of things we’re missing out on.

Josh Whedon making a smuggler movie

Han Solo is the coolest thing in Star Wars, there is no arguing against this. He’s a slick smuggler who shoots first (screw you Lucas) and asks questions later.  He’s also got a fair few similarities to another slick Sci-Fi smuggler you may remember.

In the future, everything is pistolsSource

Now imagine if Joss Whedon was given free rein to explore the world Han operated in; the torrid deals and underworld trades of SWs famous smugglers. Think about it, not only is the formula there for a stealth return to Fireflys ship, crew and job formula but it would be a brilliant way to introduce large swathes of the universe in only a single movie as the ship and crew have to travel between worlds to do their jobs.

Genndy Tartakovsky making a feature-length Cartoon

If I say Star Wars cartoon to you, most people will think of the godawful 3d animated effort from a couple of years back. Yet before the blue Twi-lek with ‘attitude’ and a boxy Hayden Christensen there was the superb Clone Wars shorts by Samurai Jack creator Genndy Tartakovsky…

Amazing right? Now picture that, except feature length and with a higher budget.

I don’t think I need to say any more.

Let Michael Bay make a Michael Bay movie

Michael Bay gets a lot of stick on the net, mostly because of his less-then-faithful Transformers adaptations…

Oh yeah, this was a good ideaSource

But what people often forget when bad mouthing the racist robots and Meagan Fox is that Michael Bay knows how to make things blow up, and blow up BIG.

One of the problems with the Prequels was that they couldn’t decide if they were silly action movies or serious drama. If Disney decided to abandon all pretence and just make a big, loud movie then Michael Bay is probably the man to do it. After all, Bad Boys and Bad Boys 2 are among my favourite films of all time. 

Now picture that boat-trailer chase scene...but in Space!

Until next time friends, let us say Skål! and drink together.

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